I was born in a New York City jail.

Today I hold MY little girl, and I can’t imagine what my mom was feeling having a child while incarcerated. Then I remember my past, years not so long ago, and I remember how easily I COULD have had that story.

My name is Brittney, and I have done it all - drugs, abortions, stripped, stole like crazy… EVERYTHING. I messed up my life so bad, but Jesus changed my whole world.

All you need to do is reread “I was born in a New York City jail” to understand my childhood was a disaster. As a teen I fell into a deep depression. I began cutting myself. It was hard to have hope when I had people say things like, “Brittney, don’t take your life seriously. You will either end up in jail or pregnant by eighteen.”

I was about sixteen when I had enough. I ran away and ended up staying with a stripper.

She told me I would work with her one day. I thought to myself, “I’d never do that.” Although I was scared of stripping, I wanted to be independent more. I really wanted a car and apartment. I started dancing for money. So many times I would feel guilty and quit, trying to waitress or bartend.

Somehow though, when I needed the money, I ended up dancing again.

I started using cocaine and other drugs on occasion when I worked. During the week I would just shop or travel with friends. I liked making $500-$1,000 a night and doing whatever I wanted. I quickly got offers from older men to quit dancing and be their girlfriend. I did this a few times, gaining a “sugar daddy.” I would be their girlfriend, and in return they would pay my bills and take me out.

I had older men throwing tens of thousands of dollars at me, and I felt secure and comfortable. I had every material thing I needed and wanted.

I started partying really hardcore at this time. I would go on yachts and travel, while doing more and more drugs. I started taking “blues,” “beanies,” also known as “roxies,” which are Percocet. On one particular day I woke up and felt sick. I thought to go get some pills to help. Once I took them I was instantly better.

Then it hit me. I was addicted.

Within a year, someone offered me heroin when I couldn’t find any pills. I tried it and didn’t really like it. It was much cheaper though, so I ended up getting it to avoid being sick from time to time. Little by little, I ended up being a full-blown heroin addict.

The addiction got so bad that I eventually slept with people sometimes to get drugs.

I thank God I never became a full-time prostitute, but I was so close. I had two abortions. I got involved with things I can’t mention in print. Believe it or not, through all of this, I started going to church.

I remember using drugs in the bathroom downstairs in the church.

I was actively using, but I desperately wanted out. It’s amazing how great God’s grace is. Although I was shooting heroin in the bathroom at church, He was at work in my heart. He saw something much more than a heroin addict. He saw the woman I would become. He also saw his son, Jesus in me. Although I was so lost, I had made a choice to follow Christ when I was a little girl.

I had walked away from that choice, but He was coming after me.

One day I prayed for God to show me who He really is, asked Him to get me clean, and promised in return I would serve Him with my whole heart. Not long after, I was going to Home Depot to get a tool. Before going in I rolled up my sleeve to shoot up drugs in my arm. At this point I had reached a high tolerance and was only maintaining so I didn’t get sick. I was a functioning drug-addict. While preparing my needle, I heard a clear thought, “Why are you doing this to yourself Brittney? Do you know some people don’t even have arms?”

I didn’t realize that was the voice of God until I walked into Home Depot. A man with NO ARMS greeted me at the door.

I said to myself, “Someone is playing a trick on me,” but I realized it was impossible. I knew at that moment God was actually real. I have had many similar encounters since. It would be too much to type out. As I write this, I am about to hit five years of sobriety! Praise God! The love I found through these God encounters, through a loving church, through prayer and the Bible is what brought me to a new JOYFUL life. For the last three years I had a job doing in-home care for people with spinal cord injuries. God showed me I could use my talents and passions to provide for myself.

Still, with my past, I wondered if I would ever have a family of my own.

When I first met my husband I was nervous to tell him about all the other men, the abortions, the drugs, and what I can’t even print here, but I needed a husband who was going to be comfortable with me sharing the story of redemption God gave me. I bit my lip and waited for his response. He just smiled and said, “isn’t grace amazing?”

It truly is.

Ephesians 2:8 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God…”. I hope my story has given YOU hope. Jesus told the parable of the prodigal son to show us God’s love is like this: never mind what you’ve done - just come home. My desire is this website would help you unpack more of that relentless love for the relentless sinner.

If you feel like your life is out of control and are desperate for help, or even if you aren’t ready to change your life but would like a friend to grab coffee with, I would love to be that for you.